The fact that love boats often break over the harsh and steep shores of life is well known to all. Most of the claims of both sexes to each other are connected with finances. Men and women accuse each other of mercantilism. But at the same time, in fact, every woman thinks about the future and wants to prepare for it. She is worried about what to prepare for dinner tomorrow, what the child should put on when it gets cold, and how to pay for an apartment, and save money.
A man either lives in one day or sees the future globally, on a large scale. In marriage, men very quickly get used to the fact that dinner will always be there. How it is earned and how much energy was spent on its preparation are of little interest. These are insignificant household trifles which a woman is able to solve herself. And at the same time, men sincerely wonder where women spend money.
In short, a woman plans every day of the existence of a family, and a man ponders the existence of a family within decades. And, naturally, they cannot come to a compromise. Because for a woman it is not clear how you can save money on a car at the expense of dinner. And it is not clear to a man how one can think about trifles when it comes to such a thing as a car. But while her husband will certainly require dinner, a woman, on the contrary, will calculate the profits and losses for the family budget when buying a car.
Total budget
Strictly speaking, there are three types of family budget: family, general, and dictatorial. The general budget is the most common one. The husband and wife work, and the salary is brought together to be spent. Together they plan expenses and revenues, and together they solve current financial problems.
But it just sounds so idealistic in words. In practice, much depends on how much one earns. And if before the birth of a child, conflicts over the budget do not happen so often, then with the advent of children, everything changes. For example, quite often, the general budget may look like this, “All mine is mine, and all yours is ours.” Wife or husband, and most often both, lay their stashes, hiding money from each other.
The reason for this behavior of a woman is the lack of desire to explain to her husband why a son needs to buy two pairs of shoes instead of just one. The reason for a man is some secret hobbies that he doesn’t want to get his wife into.
If both earn the same, over time, this leads to a woman starting to rage: why I bust my ass at work every day, come home, and work hard again, I bring home just as much as my husband, and he just lies on the couch after work.
Recently, a friend told a funny incident from her family life: in a family, there is a financial crisis; she is tormented by thoughts of what will she prepare for dinner tomorrow. And only 2 bucks were left in the family budget. Things were rough, alright? And then she discovers that the money is gone, but her husband triumphantly shows her … a new screwdriver: “I bought it. Anyway, this money would not be enough for anything else! And we need a screwdriver anyway.”
General Budget Accounting
The general budget is normal for a family. In principle, this is the main indicator that this is a FAMILY and not an alliance of like-minded people. But, on the other hand, the overall budget is a constant source of quarrels. Therefore, many families have their own books of accounting: they record all expenses and incomes. But simple tracking of movement of funds is also not very effective, and even provokes big scandals with mutual reproaches for improper costs that seem to be too much for one of the parties.
Therefore, budget planning must begin with a money distribution process. The family budget is drawn up jointly, and both follow it, not just one. In order for this to work, the goal of the husband and wife must be the same. And this, in turn, comes only when the husband and wife know how to talk to each other.
In fact, in a family close to the ideal, each of the two thinks about his/her partner, and then about him/herself. That is, the planning takes into account the interests of all family members. In fact, this is an excellent relationship training – maintaining a common budget, accounting, and joint planning. Over time, by maintaining such a budget, a family gets stronger.
Text is taken from single ladies for dating.